Tuesday, March 29, 2011

a moment of transition...

...I often view motherhood as a continuous series of transitions, and I am probably going through one of the bigger ones thus far. It's a transition that has been long coming, and one that both boys are now anxiously ready for. A combination of nerves and excitement meets me at this stage, as I ready myself to accept and appreciate this need to let go. They can most definitely play outside in the driveway alone now, and in all honesty do much better than if I were sitting outside watching. I resist the temptation to stare out the window like a hawk (which, if you know me, is taking a bit getting used to) and am starting to quite enjoy the motion of making dinner and telling them to stay outside until dinner is on the table.

...And, if your kids are anything like mine, they tend to play much better with each other when I am not in their space. The arguments are a lot less frequent (and much less dramatic...clearly a tactic to get me intervening more...man, they are good at that), and the play is more creative. They must have been out there for over two hours yesterday, and by the time we were reunited at dinner, I had the pleasure of listening to their made up games that had way more creativity than if I had taken part. "o.k. so you have to shoot the ball in the hoop three times while the other one sits in the chair. Then you grab your scooter and race around the driveway three times while the other guy counts. Grab the ball, put it in a bucket, and count how many steps it takes for you to walk up to the other guy. You get three points if you hit a crooked shot, ....."

...They were so full of excitement, and were anxious to get back out there as fast as they could.
While the oldest one has been going out on his own for quite some time, it took me until now before I was completely ready to let go with both boys being out alone. Sure, I still check out the window now and then, but instead of looking for potential feet darting to the street I am now just wanting a sneak peek at what I enjoyed so much about being a kid....just opening the door and running out to play.

...This transition definitely has taken some getting used to, and I have learned over the years that your kids will let you know when they are ready . My eldest one now takes such pride in the fact that he has the independence to go off in the bookstore to his own section while little M and I stay at the benches and read. If he has the money, he can then go wait in line and purchase a book on his own, with that sense of "awesomeness" that he feels when he gets change back.
He wants to do more things on his own, and it is time to let him do so.

...It feels good. It feels a little scary at times...and it feels right.


BaileyGirl5 said...

I can totally relate to your post. I have three boys and sometimes I look back and remember different mileposts that signified a transistion to another stage in our lives. I'll never forget the first time I just left the house to run to the store by myself and left the boys home. Just.left.by.myself. Very strange feeling and I stood still in the store for a minute when the realization of my new stage just hit me like a ton of bricks.

I read a quote somewhere that went something like "life is just a series of transitions so enjoy where you are now and embrace the next one."

mummysam said...

yes...life (especially with kids) is all about neverending transitions! and thanks so much for your comment.
Even just when I let him go off by himself to go pick out a book and buy it, it felt weird...but when he strutted back to me with this posture of "big kid" status, I felt so proud (for him, and myself!)

Jill said...

I needed to hear this today. I spend my time with my three little boys in constant eyesight (except when banished to their room because my ears are tired). Usually they are choosing to be in my eyesight. However, with eldest going to kindergarten next year I am so worried about the transition! Thank you for sharing.

mummysam said...

Jill, I am glad I could be there for you! (and if it means anything, I think the transition with my first child (changes when you do it the next time) going to kindergarten was harder on me than him! And I think this is true of many circumstances like that...I often find myself looking back and thinking, "what was I so worried about?"

Monica Lee said...

I remember when this happened at my house with my boys. Suddenly I didn't feel as "needed" as I once did. And you know what I did? Got a puppy (insert a gasp here) I know, I know WHAT on earth was I thinking. When you aren't needed as much you should just be glad you did something right and go have a cup of tea by yourself. Don't fill the void with a needy puppy, take it from me!