Tuesday, March 1, 2011
caught in the act...
photo courtesy of the amazing Thea Coughlin...
... I didn't even realize it had happened until my photographer friend showed me. During one of our photo sessions for an upcoming project, she managed to capture a moment that I failed to even remember occurring. It wasn't until I stepped away from my role as participant into one of an observer did I really get what she was saying, and the emotions it brought about allowed me to feel this moment from both perspectives. My eyes started to "sweat" ( a 5 year old's view on crying), as I found myself completely taken aback. The observer in me had never seen his grabby hands in action, and my role as participant had quickly forgotten it.
... His grabby hands are a part of who he is, and of his daily rhythm. Whether it's the inability to keeps his hands to himself at dinner, or the intense urge to touch every end cap in the store, his hands are forever moving. My role as a mum is to not only teach him how to re-direct/control his hands when necessary, but also steer him to activities that would satisfy his need to use them. It's a role that is new to me, as my initial reactions were more often based on frustration and exhaustion. I didn't understand it, and in the beginning found myself annoyed at his inability to stop.
...But now I get it. As both the observer and participant, I get it. As an observer, I watch those hands create the most detailed and beautiful sketches in a matter of seconds. The confidence he has when moving the pen around the paper is brilliant, and I often find myself yearning to draw the way he does. If I am lucky, I can sit down with him and become the participant as we draw together. Yes, I may need to reach over and carefully re-direct a hand that may be losing it's way, but that's o.k. It's who he is, and he knows I am there for him.
..Both as and observer and participant.