Monday, March 15, 2010
not to worry.....this time....
...oh how thankful this little piece must be, as it has managed to escape my recent habit of hurling frustrated pieces across the room (well, more like slamming them down on the mattress before succumbing to the sheets to wallow for a bit.....)
...it has been a frustrating time as of late, and one I recognize all to well. I have become accustomed to the tell-tale signs since my days as a painter: sudden bouts of self-doubt, feeling completely empty of ideas, trying new things each time to no avail, and yes....hurling pieces across the room.
..I know I have to go through this if I want to grow, and will frequently remind myself that this is a good thing. Hard, but oh so necessary. Yes, pieces are going to fail.... and isn't it funny how they often do so in a continuous stream? (enough to drive you absolutely bonkers...)
And just when you have successfully destroyed five pieces through extreme frustration with every intention of giving it all up for good, a piece comes along that reminds you why you will never actually follow through with it. You can't. As much as you want to sometimes, you just can't stop. Deep down inside you know that a piece will eventually come along that feels ever so good. So good in fact, that you throw yourself into a massive period of creativity. Ideas keep flowing, and you can't keep up. Pieces come together beautifully with such ease, and wonderful state of euphoria emerges.
...until you wake up the next day and hurl a piece across the living room and collapse in despair.
...must be time to grow again.