Monday, December 14, 2009

I love the smell.....


roger yearned for the sea, originally uploaded by mummysam.

If you ever get a chance to peek in on one of my morning sessions in the studio, you may very likely hear me shouting to myself, " what is it about that d** wax that always begs to get slathered on? why do you keep coming back to it? " I can't help it. I just love the smell.

I am a painter (or was so before the kids were born). I spent 70 hours a week slathering on layers of wax and oils onto canvasses. I would wake up in the morning, turn my wax on, and sip my coffee while the crockpot worked away, anxious to dip some brushes in and start painting. I loved the smell.


I hated the smell. I was pregnant with my first child and felt sick at the thought of even looking at the crockpot. Each time I even attempted to go near it, I would run out the room desperate to escape before it made me sick. What once kept me painting for hours on end, now pushed me away for eight more months. I hated the smell.

I loved the smell. In the mornings I would rush down to get a quick load of diapers in the wash before the baby woke up. My crockpot could be seen from the laundry area and every time I passed it, I had a such a strong urge to turn it on and revisit the smells that used to keep me down here for hours on end. I loved the smell.

I hated the smell. Apparently this second baby growing in my belly also has an aversion to the stuff. I had such high hopes. My little one napped twice a day, and I thought I could used one of those naps to start painting again. (I even turned the wax on before going to feed him his bottle....it would be ready by the time I came back down)
Again, I found myself running away scared of the smell. Oh how I hated the smell,

I loved the smell. And so did the boys. The crockpot got moved to the top shelf away from curious little fingers, and was left to sit patiently while this mum spent her wee one's naps napping herself.

I love the smell. The boys are in school, and I am sipping some coffee after turning the crockpot on. I have three hours to work before the little one gets picked up from preschool, and I am anxious to dip some brushes in. (I have even bought some new ones for the occasion.)
I can't help myself. I just absolutely love the smell.

8 comments:

abbyglassenberg said...

What a lovely post! The smell of wax and its relationship to you through these years of mothering and making. I am totally with you. With each pregnancy I was so sick I didn't sew for three months, and then with each baby I was so tired, and yet the sewing table was always there for those tiny moments of freedom.

jai and Lauren Soloy said...

I love this story. Everything in it's time.

tangled sky studio said...

me too! it's great to see the creative process evolve and i love the way you have been incorporating wax into your new pieces...very original and very you.

Lilouka pour JojO said...

Bravo ,

Santa Rita said...

I like so much your blog.... Nice nice nice stuff!

Cary Walker said...

so nice to read about you getting back to something you love. isn't it funny the things we put aside for those little ones... that even things so much a part of who we are can become literally revolting. it's nice to see you getting that bit back for yourself. i didn't find sewing until after my children were born, so it has always been a struggle to find the the time, but i guess i might not have found it all if it wasn't for them

sammi said...

oh, thank you everyone for such lovely lovely comments! it's amazing how much we can all share those same feelings, isn't it?

Leililaloo said...

What a great and honest post I love to read about your passion and how you changed your relationship with it everytime a new life grew inside of you. Now i understand a bit more the referals you make often in your blogposts about the time you painted and now you don't. I wondered lots of times why it is you don't any more. NOT that your sewed artwork isn't just gorgeous! Thanks for sharing..