Saturday, November 28, 2009

let's just talk about something else, shall we?




Let's just say Thanksgiving day for us was not how we expected it to be.....we unfortunately had a week of dealing with an older child who became somebody else. The rage, the fits, the bursts of tears, the anger towards all of us sent my husband and I in a whirlwind of stress and worry. With the peak happening on Thanksgiving day, our concerns were more about making it through the day than trying to have any rest at all. Dinner was full of tears, as I ran away from the table exhausted and overwhelmed.
What was happening?

Our eldest son is asthmatic, and although his attacks are becoming less frequent as he gets older, he still benefits from a nightly dose of Benadryl to cope with allergies. As luck would have it I ran out, and gave Zyrtec a try instead (what was I thinking?). We unfortunately didn't make the connection until a week later, and with high hopes that this may be the catalyst, we sent him to bed Thanksgiving night without it. As I left the boys' room "thankful" that the day was over, I found myself in bed praying that this was the problem....I couldn't bear the thought that this was something more permanent, and oh how I hoped the worst was over.

The next day became our official Thanksgiving. We woke up to a boy who smiled and was happy. His physical anger towards his brother was replaced by excitement as the boys drew together on the floor by the fire. He no longer kicked the furniture, punched the walls, cried uncontrollably, spit at my face,etc... (Wow. This is hard for me to read that part back. It just tears me up....). He laughed, he hugged, he listened, he cared....he came back.
I know it was only one week, but it felt so much longer. We were scared and worried, feeling like we had lost control.

We are just so thankful. Thankful that we found the problem and managed to fix it. That poor guy couldn't help himself, and we had no idea. Looking back at it now, I can pinpoint the minute it began, and can't help but feel some guilt over not seeing it sooner. He had just as rough of a week as we did, and now we have focused on our thanksgiving "re-do". The dinner may have been leftovers shoved between two pieces of bread and a couple of glasses of "past it's prime wine", but it was the best Thanksgiving dinner we have had. We sat back and drank our vinegary drinks with happiness as the boys smiled and giggled alongside.

It was a great Thanksgiving. Just one day late.

9 comments:

tangled sky studio said...

oh it's so hard to read this and recognize the feeling of helplessness...i'm dealing with a "just turned 13 year old" and i'm finding myself in your shoes some days. unfortunately i think i'm in for a bit more of a wild ride....thank goodness for the vinegary drinks.
i'm glad things are better....(really).

sammi said...

thanks so much Beth....good luck to you as well, and it helps to know others experience those dreadful feelings of helplessness as well (thankfully we are now just left with normal 6 year old issues, which I will take in a heartbeat...probably a bit easier than when they are thirteen!)

paintdropskeepfalling said...

It was brave of you to put that out there and so I thought I'd move out from being too shy to comment, and tell you so! My kids are becoming teenagers so i know what you're talking about. You did great in this situation - parenting is a hard job.

Melissa Crowe said...

Oh my, Sammi--what a week you had. And what a great relief to find the change was temporary. I hope you had a nice tub to soak in at the end of it.

Cary Walker said...

oh, brought tears to my eyes. i'm glad you finally figured out what was wrong... what a relief to you all. big hugs, being a mommy is hard work.

sammi said...

pdf...thank you ever so much for braving yourself and leaving a lovely post. That means so much...
Melissa and Carrie...thanks for your lovely notes and support. (and yes, a bath definitely took place...a much needed one at that!)

Rachael, Pistachio Press said...

Wow, what a long week this must have been for your family! It's amazing that a medicine shift could cause such a change in behavior, but I'm so glad that you were able to have a Thanksgiving re-do with a happy boy.

Anonymous said...

OH I am sooo glad you found the cause:) Medicine can do strange stuff to people. I am glad you are all back to normal and enjoyed Thanksgiving even if it was a day late! Take care Elma

Elise said...

Thank you for your candid and loving account of your Thanksgiving. We are ever so much more vulnerable when it comes to our children. I have a daughter in college who is having a blast one minute and calls me in tears the next. In my heart I know I can't fix her or her feelings, but I really wish that I could.

Thank goodness you figured out the cause - what a wonderful parent you are.

So glad things are better.