Wednesday, October 22, 2008
good enough is best....
At any moment of doubt while raising my first child, I knew to walk straight into the kitchen and head for the refrigerator. It's not was inside that lured me there, but what I had strategically placed on the door. "Why a good enough mum is the best mum" would stare at me after many a moment of frustration and worry. I was consumed with doing everything the "right" way (and please note the quotation marks!)...diapers were cloth, baby food was all homemade, television was never on........I was determined to raise my child how I felt was best for him. Not once did I think about how these choices would make me more tired at times, and thus more emotional and stressed than I would have been if I had just simply opened that jar of pears instead of spending forever steaming, pureeing, freezing and storing all of his food. I felt like a failure if I had to rush out and buy some disposables because I wasn't able to get all the diapers washed and dried in time. It took a friend giving me that article to show me that a good mum should feel proud of herself simply because she's doing the best she can. Several passes by the refrigerator door later, the light bulb finally switched on, and along with it came the realization that in order to be that good mum, it's o.k. and sometimes necessary to be a bit more relaxed when it comes to the way you want to run things in the house. Jump ahead to five years later (o.k, more like yesterday) and I realize I am in need of that article again. After being asked to provide a photo of myself for an upcoming interview about being a stay at home/artist, I started to think about who I have become. Two kids later, I have noticed that anxiety from early motherhood creeping back in. The television is off, the snacks are homemade, and I am getting tired again. I have to remind myself that in order to be a good mum, I have to take care of myself first...if I need to break my "rules" every now and then in order to make sure I can continue raising the boys in the type of environment I have created for them, then that's o.k. Do I feel good when the boys have a stimulating day of nature walks and bread baking? yes....is it o.k. for them to dive into a box of crackers and watch a little show while I take a much needed bath after being up all night dealing with my five year old's asthma?....yes. I am doing what I can, and that ia all I need to do.
oh, did I ever mention that the second child was fed mainly on jar food? (after dealing with four months of colic, there was no steaming/pureeing happening this time) And can you guess which child is the picky one and which child eats everything? Well, I must have been a horrible cook, as the jar fed child is now the one that eats anything I make for dinner....whereas the other one is "slightly" more picky. who would have guessed?)